This is another passage from my blended adaptation-summary of the Ainulindale and Genesis to practice with Quenya. I'm trying to use more non-English constructs to better learn. Feedback is very welcome!

Ainur *mimenner Eanna ar cenner i anes lusta. Enge rie erma nu cúma. Ainur carner minyave i eleni. I eleni ear or ilqua hyana Easse i menesse ya ná estaina Menel. Sisílanelte cále i cúmanna ar etta epeta i cúma úne cumna. Tá Ainur *ciltaner i vista i exa ermallo ar sa-panyaner nu Menel. Tá *ciltanelte i nén i lemyala ermallo ar carner i eari; ita lemyaina náne i parca nór. I men yasse ear i vista, i nén, i nór ná estaina Cemen.

The Ainur came into Creation and saw that it was empty. There was/existed only matter under a void. The Ainur made first the stars. The stars are/exist above all else in Creation in the place that is named the Firmament. They continually shined light into the void and therefore thereafter the void was not void. Then the Ainur separated the air from the other matter and placed it below the Firmament. Then they separated the water from the remaining matter and made the seas; that which remained was the dry land. The place in which are/exist the air, the water, and the land is named the Earth.

1) Ainur *mimenner Eanna "(lit.) (the) Ainur in-came to Ea" with the prefixed preposition to avoid possible interpretations as "the Ainur came toward Ea" while trying to still fully use the case system instead of just English-style Ainur menner mina/minna/mir Ea (by the way, are there pros/cons between these "into"s?)
2) lusta "empty" What I really want here is more like "barren, bleak"; is there a better choice?
3) minyave "first(ly)" I know that English "first" can be adjective or adverb; since I'm trying to describe the verbal action I want an adverb; is minyave the proper Quenya adverb or just minya?
4) ilqua hyana "all/everything other/else" I adapted this from a related phrase in Helge Fauskanger's Bible translation; I'm unsure of my grammar.
5) i cúma úne cumna "the void was not void" Is this an up-to-date way of negation? I've seen so many different ways of doing these things.
6) sa-panyaner "placed it" is this hyphen-fronting of the object pronoun the usual way of doing this?
7) i vista, i nén, i nór "the air (as a substance), the land, (and) the water" still trying to fully understand these lists based on http://www.eldamo.org/content/words/word-1073151007.html I do not want a discontinuity between these three equal entries, yet explicit i vista ar i nén ar i nór seems verbose and would quickly become more unwieldy with more entries. What are my good options?

Hantan len!