G+ LoME Archive
Post GLBBzaqfyGv
Rick Spell, Poetry, Björn Fromén, Tamas Ferencz, translations

Tamas Ferencz May 26, 2015 (13:30)

Tunga feanya ve quinga, la istan man tirien hí,
Mailie urya i hráva mal séren milya i hón.

(My soul is taut as a bow, I don't know who to heed,
The flesh burns full of lust but the hear longs for peace.)

Edit: corrected - the hexameter was lame.

Rick Spell May 26, 2015 (16:00)

Nice meter.

Rick Spell May 26, 2015 (18:28)

I guess I meant rhythm. I will have to review meter. It has been too long.

Björn Fromén May 26, 2015 (23:52)

The first line scans perfectly as a (quantitative) hexameter, but I can't figure out the metre of line 2. Am I wrong in expecting a pentameter? 

Tamas Ferencz May 27, 2015 (10:16)

+Björn Fromén
true, this is not a regular distichon. I was considering to write the second line as mailie urya i hrón, séren milya i hón, to make it a pentameter, but hrón may not be a valid form, so I went for an irregular meter which still sounds good in my opinion.

Björn Fromén May 27, 2015 (20:55)

I see, thanks.

I don't think hrón needs to be considered less valid than hráve, though, so I would have preferred the pentameter with its nice Leonine rhyme.