Post UCNuM7G9GpL

Severin Zahler Jun 16, 2016 (17:20)

Got something very special to share today, just finished translating another Song for Oonagh that will be released this autumn and noone knows anything of yet ;) It may be that the producers may not be too happy about me sharing it already, but i've not agreed to anything about not to share this prematurely, even more this here is for the good of it, there's few enough people to proofread such kind of things :P (I will not share the demo-version of the song though ofc) And so as the song is still in production process, this time it may be that if anyone of you fine guys still finds a flaw in my translation, it may still be fixed! So please throw a very critical glance at these few lines and voice whatever seems peculiar to you :P

The song is entitled "Children of the Forest", the refrain will be sung by a children's choir and the theme is a bit about the jauntiness of young children.

Taurëo seldar, rainëo onnar
illi ló nyére lumn' apainë lár
Taurëo seldar, rainëo onnar
Ambaro mána oiovórima

(Tried highlighting the stressed syllables, but the formatting codes are not flexible/advanced enough to do make single syllables bold without creating a huge mess of bold/not bold and un-encoded asterisks. Guess you all know the rules of emphation for elvish :P)

English, direct translation:

Forest-of children, peace-of beings
all by grief burdensome touched not-are
Forest-of children, peace-of beings
World-of blessing ever-enduring

English, free translation:

Children of the forest, beings of peace
All of them are not touched by burdening sorrows
Children of the forest, beings of peace
Worlds everlasting blessing

- The negation structure in the second line is according to the explanations given in PE22:126, although the sentence structure may be a bit too wild, but all to match the stressed/unstressed pattern of the song. As I read multiple times, word order in Quenya, especially in poetry, is fairly free.
- Second line: lumna apainë elided to lumn' apainë (apainë << apaina << ap- "to touch, affect, concern")
- Fourth line: I know, there's other attested words for "everlasting" or similar, but none of these matched my needs, and as theres a lot of examples using the oio- prefix I think this combination should work just well.


Tamas Ferencz Jun 19, 2016 (01:06)

Other than that I have a strong dislike for the word nyére I can't find any fault with it...

Andre Polykanine Jun 27, 2016 (23:08)

+Tamas Ferencz why don't you like the word Nyére?

Tamas Ferencz Jun 27, 2016 (23:18)

+Andre Polykanine I just don't like either the look or the sound of it... I am sure there are words in your mother tongue or other languages that you yourself dislike