Post 1JNmvNmkjaX

Александр Запрягаев Aug 18, 2015 (20:59)

An elegiac.

Eñget i•Aldu mi Númen: calaitë silíteye atta álet;
Fíriet oialë né, euva calanta mi hón.

[There were two Trees in the West: one shone golden and second shone silver;
Both perished Ages ago, light their dwells only in heart.]

+#Original +#Quenya +#FixedForm +#Quantitative +#Accentual

Leonard W. Aug 18, 2015 (22:14)

Beautiful, and smart use of -ye! But why not simply Eñget Aldu?

Rick Spell Aug 18, 2015 (22:45)


Tamas Ferencz Aug 19, 2015 (01:43)

Not to be nitpicking but doesn't the first line imply that they were both shining golden and silver at the same time?

Александр Запрягаев Aug 19, 2015 (08:37)

+Tamas Ferencz My idea was to imply substantively that 'golden-shining (one) and silver-shining (one) — there were two of them'; if however atta catches them onto inflection and makes the meaning into 'the two golden-and-silver (ones)', even then I wouldn't be so much disappointed, for that's what the Trees did — intermingle their lights into a single Light of Valinor. (However, for clarity I revised the sentence to make the 'correct' reading more probable!)

+Leonard W. For verse, for verse! I'm not really knowledgable in the matter of quantitative hexameters, (we have, as in English, 'revised' accentual ones only, like the one I did in the translation below), so had to study the structure extensively. Finally, I took no compromises and made an elegiac which is what it it no matter treated accentually or quantitatively!

Tamas Ferencz Aug 19, 2015 (08:57)

+Александр Запрягаев
thanks for the explanation! But gálë is improbable in Quenya (no initial g) - did you mean cálar? cálat?

Александр Запрягаев Aug 19, 2015 (08:58)

+Tamas Ferencz I meant 'grew'. Like, from CE gala-. And got CE and Q mixed, unfortunately.