Post 25Y82vMVj1S

Александр Запрягаев Jun 07, 2015 (18:48)

This one affected and bothered me deeply. Written in a totally incompatible (with anything) language, about an unknown event and still perfectly shaped and lingering in memory. It almost screamed for adaptation. That's what I managed, with some dirtiest of tricks:

Be 'waewath ias i daeath nar
Gonnívrim eryd cethriel,
Or Thumladen o Nevrathar
Yrch gestant tellyn núviel.
Trî nand a dadbenn Amrod vent,
Na Dhuin 'ladhol ir e gent
Gail Lúthien od Eglamar
Or sadath dyfn, or Nevrathar.

[Like winds, where the shadows are,
Stone-faced searching the mountains,
Above Tumladen from Nevrathar
Orcs looked for foot-soles smelling.
Through the valley and downhill Amrod went,
To the River laughing, when he saw
Shining Lúthien of Forsaken Realm
Above gloomy places, over Nevrathar.]

ias relat. 'where' < ya-sse (cf. Q. yassë)
Gonnívrim 'Stone-faced' < gond + nîf + rim
cethra- 'search th.' < KES + ra
Nevrathar: an attempt to make the place-name 'sound' Sindarin
cesta- 'look for' < KES + ta
nov- 'smell (trans.)' < Gn. NUVU, rendered as *NUB
I assumed the possibility of banishing the augment of a past verb (claimed to be a late development, like in attested 'old-past' tir- > tirn), made men- > ment (analogical after the more numerous d-ending verbs, cf. hav- > achamp) and o becoming od before vowels.

+#Tolkien +#Sindarin +#Rhymed +#Accentual

Tamas Ferencz Jun 07, 2015 (20:35)

Very nice rhythm and rhyme, I like it

Александр Запрягаев Jun 07, 2015 (21:49)

+Tamas Ferencz I've finally mastered Tolkien's art of never putting long vowels or diphthongs under iambic stress (though in this one he did that once: in gail, line 7 — I chose to reinstate his own wording here!).